


Dirty deeds done dirt cheap

by WereTakingThisShip



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bottom Wade Wilson, Eleanor can see through her dad's crap, Homelessness, Kamala is best babysitter, Loki is a cranky old man, M/M, Poor Peter Parker, Sharing a Bed, Single Parents, Top Peter Parker, Trans Male Character, Trans Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:37:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WereTakingThisShip/pseuds/WereTakingThisShip
Summary: "Ayyy Webs! WAASSSUUUP!!" Wade said, trying to not laugh. Peter facepalmed, the idiot had been following him around for like a year, he had stopped being a merc after hanging out with him which was good, and he helped Pete with the smaller supervillans the Avengers and the Fantastic 4 didn't have to/want to deal with. And the ex-merc was starting to grow on him, like in a weird way. Peter had crushes before, Liz, M.J, Gwen, Johnny. But he always felt like it was a, "lawful good," crush, but with Deadpool it felt like he could tell him anything, even the dark and scared memories he had that would creep into his mind, Skip, Toomes, Eddie, Kassidy. Pool would share his horror stories to, and it made Peter feel like he wasn't the only one that the world had treated like shit, at least until they met eachother.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Slytherbiotch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherbiotch/gifts).



"Ayyy Webs! WAASSSUUUP!!" Wade said, trying to not laugh. Peter facepalmed, the idiot had been following him around for like a year, he had stopped being a merc after hanging out with him which was good, and he helped Pete with the smaller supervillans the Avengers and the Fantastic 4 didn't have to/want to deal with. And the ex-merc was starting to grow on him, like in a weird way. Peter had crushes before, Liz, M.J, Gwen, Johnny. But he always felt like it was a, "lawful good," crush, but with Deadpool it felt like he could tell him anything, even the dark and scared memories he had that would creep into his mind, Skip, Toomes, Eddie, Kassidy. Pool would share his horror stories to, and it made Peter feel like he wasn't the only one that the world had treated like shit, at least until they met eachother.  
When Peter crawled into his makeshift house a old couch cushions in an alley not to far from his school, it sucked being 20 and homeless. After the Kingpin had his Aunt murdered he had no where to go, he couldn't go to Tony he'd still be homeless, but living in a cemetery for superheros. He couldn't go to Pepper, Happy, or Rhodey, they were either dead or off the Grid. Oh and he was raising Tony's son, Steven Morgan Stark. Peter had almost scrapped enough money working 5 jobs to get functioning apartment for him and Steve. When Pete knew that he was gonna be out late Steven would stay with Pete's friend Al, he could protect him, after all, he has the literal powers of a demon, Spawn is what Pete remembers Al being called by his 'work colleagues'.  
As Peter was about to close his eyes and sleep, he heard two gunshots, "God fucking dammit." Peter grumbled as he stood up and swung towards the shots. When he got to the spot he sighed, Wade had just shot somebody, Pete was about to get off the roof and yell at him but then he noticed a little girl behind him, Pete's head tilted in confusion, then he heard wade growl as he grabbed the mystery offender by the throat, "You get near my DAUGHTER again and we'll both rip your boss to pieces." Peter was blushing a 'little' bit under his mask until his brain kicked back into reality, "Wait, Deadpool has a kid?!" He thought. Peter watched as Wade made sure 'Ellie' was ok, then carrying her out of the alley that the unlucky soul had died in. Peter shrugged and swung back to his bed.  
When he woke up the next morning for school, he was exhausted, the past week he had fought the Sinister Six...TWICE, about got shot by the Punisher, stopped at least 7 other murders, and 20 other felonies, not to mention about 100 petty crimes. He sat down in his usual desk, his past night being made better by a face scarred all to hell, his best friend, Wade was a Psych Major trying to get a minor in Eletric Engineering, so they took ALOT of classes together, he loved hanging out with Wade, who was a big Spiderman fan, which gave Pete a needed ego boost every time Wade started gushing about the wallcrawler. Wade had a similar reaction when Peter would talk about how cool he thought Deadpool was, but he for some reason didn't seem to like Deadpool as much as Pete thought Wade would. They were joking about their teacher in their 8 am Physics class, who always seemed to target Peter when he was tired, but left Wade the fuck alone. "Like really, you think he'd give the smartest person in the world in the world a break and go after the winner of idiot of all eternity, but noooo. He has to go after you, IT'S STUPID!" Wade said as he motioned towards Peter, then himself. God Peter hated it when Wade made self-depreciating jokes, actually, he hated it when Deadpool did the same thing. "Man, I must attract some self-loathing people," he thought, then he looked up after chuckling to himself it looked like Wade was about to have a breakdown, and they were in the middle if the biggest hallway on campus, right before the most crowded class, Superhero Ethics, let out. He had to get Wade away from everyone else so he could tell him what was wrong.  
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
Peter found a storage closet right next to room 316 and brought Wade in there as tears started to stream down his face, " Did I ever tell you that I had a kid? Her name's Ellie, she's the greatest person in the world. I can barely even afford to keep an apartment and feed her. I can't give her back to her mom, she's awful to her, I just don't know what to do. I haven't eaten in like a month. Ellie always tells me that she's hungry, and I can see the look in her eyes when she sees something she REALLY wants but she knows that I can't give her the life she deserves and, and an-..." Wade was hyperventilating to the point where he couldn't get words out, Peter started to tear up, he knew what Wade was going through, he was homeless, barely able to afford a $2 sandwich. Peter hugged Wade, putting his head in the bigger man's chest. "I know Wade, I know how you feel," Wade's expression twisted in confusion, " I'm raising my dead, adopted dad's kid, and I'm homeless, I barley even see the kid anymore, he either at school, hanging out with his friends or with my friend Al. It took my 8 months to get enough money from 5 jobs to get an apartment for enough time to where I can get back on my feet..." The two stood there in the closet and cried, laughed, and talked about their kids. "Well, guess you learn more about people every day!" Wade chuckled, I throat still a little raw from crying for almost an hour. "This might be a crazy idea but, what do you think about moving in together, like we're both poor, we both have kids, maybe if we pool up our money, we can give out kids a life they deserve." Peter nodded hugging Wade from the side. "I'd like that."  
As thet were walking around campus at the end of the day Peter realized he thought Wade was incredibly pretty, even with all those scars on his face, he has the literal shoulders of a God, his arm felt like they were made of metal chords but were always so gentle with him, and his legs, those dang legs, the first time Peter convinced Wade to where shorts he was speechless. "What's the matter Petey?" Wade smirked, Peter twisted his expression, "What do you mean?" "You're looking at me like we're either in a rom-com or a fanfic written by a 15-year old!" Wade snorted, Peter's face turn Lilly pink and looked down at his feet while he curled his hair in one hand and holding Wade's hand with their arms intertwined. " Do you like me or something?" Wade nervously chuckled, Peter then looked deep into his eyes, stood on his toes and kissed him till he couldn't breath. When he let go he managed to say, "Did that answer your question."


	2. Chapter 2

Holy shit, Peter just kissed him...SPIDERMAN HAD KISSED HIM!! Wade could only let out a sad whine when Peter stopped kissing him. He had known that Peter was Spiderman for 6 months, he figured it out after he had just gotten of patrol with Webs and ran into Peter, then realized they had the same voice, which is when it clicked in his head that they were one in the same.

As Wade was about to lean in again, Peter's phone buzzed, "Oh shit, I have calc 3 in 5 minutes, I gotta go." Peter sayed panicking, then it was like a joke lightbulb went off when he left, "I'll finish the job later," he whispered in Wade's ear, smacked his ass then ran off giggling. Wade just stood there, daydreaming.

The next time Wade saw Peter was two days later on Patrol as Spiderman and Deadpool. "Hey baby boy," Wade cooed, sitting right above Peter on a roof, Wade had the flick his ear to get Pete to stop daydreaming, "You think about a pretty guy there Petey?" Wade chuckled, "Yeah actually, there's this guy at school who's SO FUCKING HAWT LIKE GOD DAMN!" Peter squeeed, Wade knew exactly who he was talking about, but he couldn't believe it.

"Pfft, he can't be that cute, otherwise you'd have stopped hanging out with me all the time!" Wade joked, he saw Peter's eyes squint a little, he had heard the same tone Wade uses for all his self depreciating jokes, Wade was pretty sure Wade was close to figuring out Wade=Deadpool. "Why did you kill that guy earlier the week?" Peter asked all of a sudden, Wade was taken aback by the forward question, usually Peter is more koi when he's trying to figureout why Wade killed somebody, "Wha- What do you mean Webs?" Wade said as he looked at the ground and backed away, that guy he killed deserved it, but he didn't want Peter to know. Peter stood up and faced Wade, almost looking angry, "I saw you kill that guy in the alley next to the shady pizza place, you were with your daughter Ellie." Peter sayed matter of factly, Wade was surprised Peter actually knew everything, he figured that someone had just told him and that he could just lie and say he didn't kill anyone. "Listen, Pete I'm sorry, I just-" Wade stopped when he said Spidey's real name, "How do you know my name...Wait, Wade?" Peter said flabbergasted, Wade just nodded, he thought his hero, that man he had a crush on for like a year, was about to smack him, or worse, hate him. He gasped when Peter hugged him, "You still haven't answered the question, you don't have to be super detailed, you can just say he deserved it." Wade sighed, "The guy was working for the place that made me the Freddy Kruger copycat I am, I went home after our patrol that night and Ellie wasn't there. I called everyone I knew who she would usually stay with, but they hadn't seen her all day. I went looking for her, found her in like 5 minutes cause she had her location on her phone turned on." Wade said, "Smart kid." Peter chuckled, thinking the story was done, but it wasn't, " then if saw her in that alley fighting like 7 dudes that were bigger than me, she was bloody and bruised, so I yelled for her to hide, then most of them teleported away before I could shoot them, but one bastard' s teleported was broken, and Ellie said that he was the one that kidnapped her from school. But they way she looked at me, I've had that same look in my eyes before so I knew right then that I had to see that guy die." Wade finished, Peter nodded then leaned on him, "it'll be ok, we'll find those assholes together, then we'll kick their ass!" They both chuckled, they felt a lot better knowing that they'd always have someone to talk to, whether it was super heroesor their 'normal' lives.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Wade woke up the next morning, actually happy to see a different date on his phone, today was the day that they were moving to a new apartment with Peter and his kid. Wade and Ellie had already packed what little they had an fit it into Pete's friends truck. When they hoped in the back seat Wade looked excitedly at his little precious pumpkin, who still had a couple bruises and some scars from a week ago, Wade noticed how she seemed to heal pretty fast for a kid, "You excited Pumpkin?" Ellie nodded, "I'm surprised I haven't met your mystery boyfriend yet." She said deadpanned. "He's not my boyfriend!" Wade protested, Ellie cackled, "Yes he iiiiisss. You're blushing!" Ellie teased, "No I'm not!" Wade huffed, though he did notice that his face was about the color of his suit.

When they arrived at the apartment building Wade scoffed at how surprisingly nice it looked on the outside, clean but REALLY old, like almost in a creepy sense, "Ooohhhh, this place is crreeeepppyy! I think I'm gonna like it here." Ellie grinned as she hopped out of the truck, Wade said thank you to Al and got there stuff out of they bed. As they were walking up to the door, Peter and his kid, Steve, ran up behind the corner, "Sorry were late Wade," Peter huffed, Wade chuckled and said it was cool. "Oh and the landlord lady said that since she didn't know we were both single dads, and also superheroes, that she was gonna give us the penthouse for the same price as the utilities, which is only 500 a month, "You told her that we are superheroes!" Wade whispered, " Well all the other people here are superheroes, the Landlord is a Day-Walker-" Peter said as Wade stopped him by putting a finger over his mouth, "She's a Vampire!?" He yelled a little to loud, "COOOOL!" Ellie squeed, the elevator dinged, letting them now that they were about to step into their now home.

Omg the place was so creepy, it looked like it was designed by Tim Burton, every single curve in the house was exaggerated and ended in a point, all the floors were either steel blue or blood redthere was one room that was all black, "I call it!" Ellie yelled, hoping on the previously ordered bed then laying like a snow angel, "You guys go, I'm gonna see if there's ant ghosties here." Ellie said as she shooed them away. The only real problem with the place was there was only three bedrooms, but Wade had already made his peace with sleeping in a closet.

As they were all getting ready for bed, Peter popped his head around a corner asking Ellie, "Where's you Dad?" Ellie walked into the a hallway and pointed to a towel closet, thus fucking place had towel closets it was so amazing. Peter said thank you and that he'll take care of her dad, she nodded then ran to her room, toothbrush sticking out the corner of her mouth. Peter opened the door to a half-asleep Wade, "Dude, why are you sleeping in here?!" Wade shrugged, when Peter went to pick him up Princess style, he didn't protest. Peter then brought Wade to his room and set him on a giant ass bed, clearly bought for two. "This really is a shitty fanfic," Wade mumbled as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry guys, the fun stuff is coming(pun unintended but appreciated)


	3. Chapter 3

Wade woke up to Ellie about a centimeter in front if his face, "Aah! Jesus fucking Christ child, what the hell!" He screeched, jumping a little, Ellie giggled, "So he is your boyfriend, I knew it." Wade cocked his no existent eyebrow, "What are you talking abou-" Wade then remembered where he had fallen asleep, "Pfft, Peter was just being nice, he didn't mean anything by it...I think." Ellie grinned, "You LOVE him! Daddy loves Spiderman! Daddy loves Spiderman! Daddy lo-" Wade put his hand over Ellie' s mouth, "Shhh! I don't want him to figure it out like that! You fucking little gay gremlin." Ellie snickered, she knew it. "So, when are you two gonna get married," she beamed, "am I gonna get a little sister!?" Wade laughed, "We're not even dating yet, but when we get married you will defiantly get a little sister, and a pony." Ellie skipped around the room, "Yay! I'm gonna have 2 dad, a brother, a sister, AND A MOTHERFUCKING PONY!" She stopped, almost mid skip, "Oh and Spider-Dad made breakfast!" She then ran out of the room giggling. Wade chuckled as he got up, "Wait, why do i have Peter's shirt on," he lifted up the blanket," and why am I in my underwear?" He shrugged it off as he put a Spiderman t shirt and some black sweatpants and walked into the main area of their new apartment/house, he walked out of the hallway and saw Peter, in a tank top with the sides low, showing his binder and basketball shirts, with oodly messy hair. Peter looked at Wade and his face went redder then their suits, he started giggling a little, "Whatcha laughing at Petey?" Wade sincerely asked, Peter raised and eyebrow both flirty and sarcastically, "You mean you don't remember last night?" He whispered into Wade's ear, Wade shook his head and chuckled nervously. Peter's face saddened a bit, "Oh." He then seemed to get a idea and pulled Wade close, whispering, "Maybe later I can show you.." Wade could have melted, he then followed Peter around the kitchen, helping him plate food, after a bit Wade noticed something, Peter was wearing of of his shirts, then it clicked, "Hey Pete," he whispered, side stepping close to him, turning his back towards the couch, so the kids couldn't read his lips, " Did we... "he motioned with his hands, "You know, last night?" Peter turned into a tomato and nodded, it took a couple seconds for Wade to register the answer. Then he started to giggle. He went over to the couch to sit next to Peter and the kids to watch tv and eat.  
After they had finished the morning dishes, Steven asked, "Hey dad, can I go over to Ellie's friends house with her?" Peter nodded, "Sure! What's this 'friend's' name?" Steve responded, "Kamala. Ellie said she used to hand out with her alot when her and Wade lived at their old place. She's also a sophomore in high school." Peter retorted, "So she's Ellie's babysitter?" Ellie poked her head out of her room and shouted, "I don't need no babysitter!" Peter cackled, "That was a double negative so that means you dooo!" He giggled, Steve was unamused, like he always was, "You okay dude, you seem a little more gloomy then usual?" Steve huffed, "I'm fine." Peter sighed, "Ok."   
Ellie layed on her bed, looking at her phone, texting Kamala;

"Duuuuudde, when are you gonna get here, Steve is boring and there are no ghosts in my house. I'm dying over heeerre 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut happens next chapter, and then the chapter after that should also be smut, then the chapter after that will probs be a conclusion. BUT DON'T WORRY! For there will be one shots that take place in this universe.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so each chapter is gonna revolve around one character most of the time, sometimes it'll go back and forth(for the fun times) but the first chapter is Peter centric and the second chapter is wade centric, the rest who knows.  
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and would help me update this series.


End file.
